Observations

Strange feeling yesterday - I put on some pre-op khaki pants and at that time, they were loose but not falling down.  After driving into work and then sitting at my desk for a couple hours, they stretched out and by lunchtime, I needed to keep my hands in my pockets simply to hold my pants up.  The butt was super baggy...the waist was baggy...it was funny and impressive (at one point these pants barely fit) but also a bit dangerous...had anyone tugged on my pants, they would have easily fallen down to my ankles.

I can also easily fit into tops in my closet that are 18/20's, not 22/24.  That's a great feeling as well.

My bras no longer hurt.  No more digging into my shoulders or my sides.

My sportsbras are almost too big...there's more bounce happening than I remember - time for a smaller size there...

Some of my shoes now feel 'sloppy'.  Shoes that were once fitting perfectly now feel a bit loose.

All of this after shedding 50 pounds.  I'm 1/3 of my way to my goal.  I'm still so curious to know what everything will be/look like/feel in 100 more pounds!!!

I've struggled to get my water in for the past couple days.  As a result I woke up with a horrendous headache this morning.  Dehydration.  Not cool.  I really really need to make a conscience effort of drinking water.

I ordered some Bariatric Chewable vitamins on Amazon.  I haven't been taking my vitamins as religiously as I should be...so I got some new ones to see if they were better than Flintstones.  Nope.  They're also equally disgusting.  However I will bring my Flintstones to work so I can take one in the morning if I forget at home.

The weight is still coming off in interesting places first.  My gut is going to be the last to go.  Not much I can do about it - I think it's just how my body is dealing with all this.  Hitting the gym to workout is great - I love 9Round - but I'm still the largest person in the room there AND I have to modify almost every 'active transition' because of my chipped tibia.  Anything involving jumping or the plank position is really really painful.  So I do a lot of running in place.  Whatever - at least I'm there moving my body, right??  But in my twisted head, all I think is how everyone must be judging me.  "look at that big girl - she's so big she can't even DO half this stuff".  That's what they're saying inside my head.  When in reality, I doubt they're even noticing that I'm doing my own thing and if they do, do I really care???  I'm not judging anyone there.  Why do I automatically assume they're judging me?  Because I do.  That's part of the insanity that is my brain.

Another crazy thinking thing that is happening involves calories.  I track everything I eat/drink in MyFitnessPal.  I have it on my phone.  I have my Fitbit linked to it.  I'm not sure where the 'normal' line is drawn about watching calories though.  Tuesday, I had 10-15 Pita Chips.  I logged them - 150 calories.  I was still under 550 calories for the entire day...so no big deal, right??  I couldn't forgive myself for eating the stupid pita chips.  They tasted amazing.  I chewed them up to a delightful paste in my mouth...texture wasn't an issue.  They went down fine.  I still lost a pound by the morning. So why am I obsessing over this???   I didn't eat an entire pint of ice cream or half a pizza.  I didn't even eat a normal serving size of Pita Chips.  I need to be mindful of this so it doesn't spiral.