206 Days Later...

It's been 206 days.

206 days since I've had a stomach.  206 days since I made the life-change.  206 days since my new life started.

I haven't written in a long time because there hasn't been much to report about.  I found my groove and it was an awesome ride for three months.  I was losing a half pound to a pound a day.  Weight was literally melting off.  Then I hit a stall just after Thanksgiving and it's been much more work.  They did tell me that the first 6 months were the easiest time and after that, the weight loss required effort.  That was 110% true.  But I stay the course.  I log every single thing I eat.  I log every work out.  I wear my Fitbit religiously.  My New Year's resolution was to make a better attempt at taking my vitamins and calcium (I'm remembering MORE...but I am not up to daily yet).

My calorie intake hovers around 500.  Some days it's more, some days it's shy but most days, I'm between 475 and 550.  I know that sounds ridiculously low but you'd be surprised by how satisfied you can get when you are eating only protein and real food - cutting out processing and most carbs.  I eat a lot of Greek yogurt and Quark, cottage cheese, lean meats - chicken breast, fish - and fruit/veggies.  I miss other foods...of course I do.  I miss baked goods a lot.  I also miss SALADS immensely.  I miss cold and crunchy.  However my new plumbing just isn't loving salad yet.  I get really full in just a couple bites and since protein is more important, I rarely have room for greens.  Other veggies go down better - green beans, asparagus, broccoli - all feel better in the pouch because I can get them more chewed up than I can lettuce/spinach.  My teeth just can't grind greens the same way.  I still adore soup...and Yasso Greek Yogurt pops.  They are 100 calories and my substitute for ice cream - and they come in flavors like cookie dough and salted caramel...so they really are a close substitute.

I'm in love with working out and I feel seriously down when I can't fit them in.  This week, working out just hasn't been that easy - activities and plans got in the way.  The highlight of my Friday evening is a long workout.  Me, my elliptical, my treadmill, the Smart TV - we have some serious work to do.  I still try to hit 9 Round  when I can and my home workouts are 60 minutes minimum.  I try to burn at least 800 calories per workout at home.  And yes, I still run.  Just to prove to myself that I can.

My body is changing.  Even when the scale isn't reflecting weight loss, my body is different.  I had my 6 month post op check up and the Exercise Phys gal did my measurements.  I've lost 15 inches off my waist.  15 INCHES OFF MY WAIST IN 6 MONTHS.  How insane is that?????  That's crazy.  The clothes I feel like I just bought (but in all honesty it's been since before Christmas) don't fit anymore.  My thighs and butt don't fill them out the way they should and I end up looking bigger than I really am.  I know it sounds like a stupid problem but shopping for new pants is frustrating when I know in a few weeks they're not going to fit again.  It's the middle of winter and I don't really WANT to buy more winter clothes...I want to think about cute spring stuff....but I can't buy that now because I have no idea what size I'll be when it's warm enough to actually wear it.  I know - first world problems.

I had my passport photo re-taken for a renewal on Monday.  I was disappointed to have to do this because I really loved my passport photo - it was a good picture and I'm smiling cute and have a nice tan going on.  However seeing the photos side-by-side is kind of an eye-opener.  I look like a totally different person.  The natural color hair helps the difference as does the fact that you're not supposed to smile anymore in the photo but my face is so different.  So even when I don't feel like much is changing...it is...

24 weeks Post-Op = 6 Months Out

I was in a bit of a stall since my last post.  They happen.  Doesn't mean they are not frustrating as hell,.  Doesn't mean that you start thinking really strange thoughts or start panicking that this may be it - maybe THIS is all the weight I'm going to lose.  When stalls do happen, I just keep on doing what I've been doing.  I don't go calorie-crazy and start eating more.  I don't stop working out.  I just stay the course.  Eventually my body catches on that even if it has a little tantrum I'm not going to give in.  This stall lasted from November 20th to today.  This was a long one.  I hope I can have a nice run until my next one.

I survived Thanksgiving.  It was hard, however.  It's really difficult to see all the amazing comfort foods you have grown to love and then after 4 bites, you're done.  Not with that one item...but done with the meal.  White Turkey doesn't go down very well - it's dry and I'm not a gravy lover.  Stuffing was awesome but not really the protein-packed item I'm supposed to eat much of.  My other favorite - Sweet Potatoes - is also a carb...so I was pretty limited in what I could eat.  I had a good workout that morning so I didn't feel guilty for what I did eat.  Instead of pie, I made some coffee and had a yummy mug of that.  It worked out.

I can run 20 minutes straight now.  I had been running at the end of my workouts but yesterday I switched it up and after a 15 minute warm-up walking, I started to jog just to see how long I could go.  I made it 20 minutes and I swear I could have gone longer but I also wanted to walk today without pain.  I'm truly amazed I made it that long.  Even as it was happening, I was amazed that my body was just doing what it was doing - no side ache, no burning lungs, no ankle or knee pain.  I found a groove and just ran.  Now, it wasn't fast by any means.  In fact, I could probably almost walk as fast as I was running but that's not important.  The fact is that I ran.  And I'm proud of that.

I have 10 pair of pants that I can send off to the consignment store as they will never fit anymore.  I attended my husband's holiday party for work on Friday night and felt like a million bucks.  I looked good and I felt amazing.  I ran into two folks I hadn't seen in a while on Sunday and both couldn't get over how 'amazing' I look.  DAMN that feels good!!!  I still don't see it the same way other people do.  I don't look in the mirror and see the new me.  I see the old me with the same gross areas that bothered me before.  However in clothes, I am liking what I see more and more.  I still box at 9 Round at least once a week and I can tell that I'm getting stronger there too - and the trainers who work there always comment on how I'm doing.  That also feels good.

Again, I'm so very thankful to have had this opportunity.  I have my 6 month follow-up appointment next week and will update with my current stats then.  I really wanted to hit the 100 pound mark by then but the stall is going to prevent that from happening.  It's ok.  Whether I hit that milestone in 10 days or not, I'll hit it and I will celebrate.  I've come a long way!!!

21 1/2 Weeks Post-Op - WOW.

Guys.  I ran.  I was finishing up a treadmill workout last night - I typically do 65 minutes on the treadmill at 3.4 mph with the incline set at 5%.  Then after about 25 minutes, I start playing with the incline and I'll do 5 minutes at 10%, 5 minutes at 15%, 5 minutes back at 10%...and then I'll drop back to 5% and carry 5 pound hand weights.  It's a good workout.  Makes me sweat and I can feel it in my quads and gluts the next day.

I rewarded myself with a new TV in my workout area - I got a little Smart TV that has wi-fi so I can watch Netflix while I workout.  The previous TV was OK but we couldn't connect it to cable so I was watching DVD's of Sex and the City while working out and since they're only 22 minutes long, I was getting on and off the treadmill 3 times per workout to hit "Play" again.  Annoying.  Anyways, the new TV came out of the box, I hopped on the treadmill and gave it 55 minutes and then thought - "let's see what happens".  I bumped the speed up to 4.3 mph and started to jog.  Not fast, not pretty but it happened.  I wanted to see if I could go 5 minutes straight, no stopping, no slowing down.  I KILLED IT.  I totally did it!!  And it wasn't bad!!  I mean, I don't know if I'll ever classify myself as a RUNNER, but I did it...and I'll do it again.

I hit a nice little goal overnight too.  As of today, I weigh less than I did when I met my husband.  I also weigh less than I did when I conceived my oldest son.  That puts me at 95 pounds lost since my heaviest weight ever and 75 pounds lost since the day of surgery.  I'm almost overwhelmed that it's THAT much weight.

Man, I write this a lot but it feels so good to be successful at this weight loss game.  I spent so much of my life being discouraged and depressed about not being able to lose weight or not being able to stick with a diet.  I absolutely feel blessed that I had the opportunity to have a Roux-en-Y surgery covered by insurance.  I know I never would have had this success without the help of surgery.  Yes, it's work.  I have a hacking cough that would have been a wonderful excuse to skip a workout last night...but I really wanted to see the scales number drop this morning and that meant making time for the treadmill.  Yes, Thanksgiving is coming up and I would love to eat everything my heart desires but I do NOT want to pay the consequences so I have no choice but to be good.  I love that.  Cheating is not an option.  There is no more justification for my actions necessary - it's not possible to not be good.  Such an amazing feeling!!

20 Weeks Post Op - Look good feel good

I can now wear 'normal' pants.  The pants in this photo - the pants I have on today - are size 18.  Not from the Plus section.  Just 18's.  And the sweater was from Costco - and they don't sell Plus sizes at Costco.

This may not seem like a big deal but to me, it's a very big deal.  I will never shop at a Lane Bryant again.  Ever.

Is an 18 my goal?  Nope...but it's a gigantic step and proof that I AM losing weight.

And just for the record, I look much better in clothes that fit.  I've been so hesitant to buy anything new because the old clothes (sizes 24, 22 and 20) "fit".  No, they don't fit...they're way too big...but with a belt and some creative undergarments, they work.  Well I took a leap and bought some new clothes on sale at Penny's for work - these pants included.  I also got a 'treat' from my mom which included a couple more pairs of pants and a couple sweaters.  So, this weekend I'm going to once again purge and pack up the clothes I've shrunk out of and send them over to the consignment store.  I will not need them - why hang on to them?

My neck is defined.  I don't have a double chin anymore.  I have cheek bones that don't need contouring to pop out.  I have a collar bone that is visible.  I'm winning at this!!!!  Seriously - I'm having success!!!  How cool is that???

I have 65 pounds to go to my first goal weight and 75 pounds to go to my stretch goal.  And I cannot wait to see what size that puts me at or what it will feel like in a body that size.  Do I miss food?  Yup...still - daily - some days hourly.  But I wouldn't trade this feeling of PRIDE for anything.

19 Weeks Post-Op - More love for Weekends

I love weekends.  Aside from the not having to be at work part, I am loving weekends for the fact that I lose more weight on the weekends than I do during the week.  Like, significantly more.  I can lose 3-4 pounds between Saturday morning to Monday morning.  I think this is due to a little combination of things.
1.  I get a little more sleep on the weekends.  Not much, as my kids wake up at pretty much the same time whether it's Saturday or Tuesday, but probably an additional 30-45 minutes.
2.  I don't have as scheduled of a day - I leisurely drink my coffee in the morning.  I don't force a lunch break - I grab a bite here and there as I need it.
3.  I drink water all day long.  Not just in meetings when I think about it.  4.  I rarely stop moving during the day - I'm jockeying laundry, I'm running to Costco, SuperTarget, Home Depot, wherever my life needs me to go.  In between those errands, I'm running around my house cleaning up after the kids or cleaning areas that need attention.
4.  I nap.  I take a 2 hour nap with my two little kids every Saturday and typically every Sunday too.  I love it.  It's my little indulgence to myself.  We all get cozy in our big bed and fall asleep all cuddled up.  Believe it or not, there is not nearly as big of a fight to take a nap if Mom takes one with you.
5.  I work out.  Hard.  For 65-75 minutes.  Walking on the treadmill at an incline.  Now I've added hand weights to that as well in 5 minute intervals.  I drip.  I feel like I'm going to die.  And it's Awesome.

I am very close to two milestones - and they are only a few pounds apart.  As of today, I now weigh what I weighed when I met Phil's family at Thanksgiving in 2007.  I had been doing SlimGenics and weighing in three times a week, so I remember my weights clearly.  This means I'm 12 pounds away from weighing what I weighed when Phil and I met.  8 years ago.  After that, it will be 6 more pounds until I've lost 100 pounds.  I really want to hit the 100 pound mark by Christmas so I have some work ahead of me...but I am loving workouts right now and the eating part is now second nature.  I just wish my love for water would be as strong as it was before surgery.

I get so full so fast from water and I really want to just chug it but that causes extreme pain.  It's something I need to devote focus on - sit with my water bottle in my hand and open and basically look at a clock and sip every minute or so.  I do love adding Lipton Lemon Iced Tea concentrate to my water but I can't seem to find the flavor I like anymore...so here I am.

Sill happy?  Yup.  Ecstatic.  I continue to be amazed at my success and I'm so very thankful to have had the positive journey.  

18 Weeks Post-Op

I'm really, REALLY thankful for this journey.  I truely believe I never would have been able to be a successful dieter without my RNY surgery.  I feel extremely lucky to have had a positive experience with the entire process start to now.  So please take this with a grain of salt - it's all good stuff...

All my clothes fit weird.

The butt is saggy.  They're all too long.  If I go down a size, the waist is tighter and I get a muffin top.  Not a look I particularly enjoy.  I know that it's a matter of weeks before I'm down another 10 pounds and the next size down isn't that far away but man, I'm tired of looking like a frump!!

I'm also cold much of the time and I know that's only going to get worse as the fat on my body comes off.  I'm willing to deal with this one.

I want to buy cute clothes...I'm dying to, actually...but not knowing where I'll end up size-wise, I'm reluctant to purchase anything too nice or thing about things too long term.

All that being said - man, it's fun to have a long lean neck.  It's so nice that folks are actually noticing that I'm smaller than I was.  Church is where I get the majority of the compliments from folks that don't see me daily - and that's really fun. Supportive and loving comments about how great I look is a great reminder that yes, I am doing something good for myself and yes, it's paying off.

I am also falling more and more in love with working out.  I wish my life had the amount of time I would need to workout to my hearts content but right now, I get about an hour 4-5 times a week.  I am stronger.  I am faster.  It's not that hard anymore - it's just enjoyable.  It feels GOOD to sweat!!

Life sure has changed in the past 4 months.  I'm so so SO happy to be on this side of the change!!!

17 Weeks Post-Op

I haven't written in a while and I have no excuses.  This could end up being a lengthy post.

I have lost 58 pounds since surgery and 78 since pre-op liquid diet.

We were in Cape Cod, MA from Tuesday until Saturday and I didn't have a scale the entire time.  This was very strange for me.  I've weighed myself every single morning for the past year with very few exceptions so to have no scale and be really actively working on losing was strange.  Happy to say that even though I was in a bit of a stall when we left, I managed to lose almost 6 pounds.  I'll take that!!  I continued to log everything I ate in Myfitnesspal.  We walked a ton.  Kept up on my water.  I stocked the rental cottage with Greek yogurt, string cheese, some deli ham, and chose my meals wisely.  Even got to enjoy some lobster.  Pretty cool indeed.

The flights to the Cape were interesting as well.  Not only do I not need a seatbelt extender, but I have room in an airplane seat to actually cross my legs!!  I could also wrestle with my 2 and 4 year old to get them belted in without having to remove my own safety belt.  I could also carry the carry-on, my purse AND a child at the same time without being winded at all.  I could walk up the aisle of the plane and not feel like my hips were hitting people in the face.  I put my tray table down and it actually came all the way down.  All of these are huge wins.  I love to travel and the absolute uncomfortable nature of being a large person in an airplane hindered that.  SO very happy to report that this is no longer an issue!!!!

Also, my collarbone is now visible.  It's much more pronounced on the right than the left but it's there.  I know...it's another one of those things that probably a normal-sized person doesn't think twice about but an overweight person can obsess over.  My neck and decollete area is starting to look like a thin person's.  And it's a big deal to me.

I can also wear clothes that are not in plus size.  Phil bought me a hoodie on vacation and it's a normal Large.  Not multiple 'X'.  Also, I bought a yoga top a month or so ago that was adorable and on sale thinking "someday" and someday came yesterday.  It didn't look perfect but it fit fine.

I'm continually amazed that this is working.

I do continue to miss food.  I don't deprive myself...I log everything, even if I'm not proud of a choice...but I do miss food.  We grilled steaks last night - they were amazing.  I took two bites and I couldn't eat anymore.  Not for any other reason.  It tasted amazing.  The texture was fine.  The moisture was there.  It was cooked a perfect medium rare.  I just couldn't get more than a couple bites to feel good down there and that's enough to make me stop.  It's a good thing - it means I'm following the rules and listening to my body, which will help me in the long run.  But sitting there with my family who were all raving at how awesome the steak was and not being able to enjoy it was a bummer.  There was left overs.  I'll try again tonight.

I think my next 'treat' to myself is going to be a new TV for my workout area in our basement.  I have an elliptical and a treadmill but the TV I use while working out has seen better days.  Now that flat screens have come down so much in price, it'd be nice to have another incentive to workout with.  We'll see.

That's all I got - still working at it...and it's still working...and I'm still in awe.