Yesterday, my mom and I attended the mandatory pre-op class for Bariatric patients at Abbott. There were 16 people having bariatric surgery in the next two weeks in the class...and four procedures represented. In one respect, it was comforting that there are people - at least 16 of them - who are going thru the same process as I am at the same time. Liquid diet, roller coaster emotions. During a break, we compared notes on the best tasting protein drinks. It almost felt normal.
However, the class was a total reality check. A video we watched walked thru the entire process of anesthesia from the start of the IV thru recovery. Every wire, tube, monitor, procedure. Putting in the breathing tube. Tying your arms down. Tilting the bed (a fact I didn't know until yesterday) - I'll actually be strapped to the table and then the table will tilt to about a 45 degree angle so I'll be kind of standing/leaning on it during the actual surgery. It scared me. A lot. Not enough to quit the process but enough to know that whenever they start offering the sedatives, I'm taking them! I don't want to remember being strapped to the table. I don't want to remember the cold OR. Please knock me out ASAP.
The pre-op physical went perfect. I'm ready, physically. I see a nurse practitioner and she's awesome and super encouraging. She strongly encouraged me to talk to my OB after surgery about an IUD...which I thought was interesting since Phil took the permanency route for himself but her reasoning behind suggesting an IUD make sense and it'll cut down on my need for Advil monthly, which is now a complete no-no for me. I'll definitely think about it.
I've survived on the liquid diet for 4 full and one half days. Water, Broth, sugar free Jello and sugar free pudding. V8. Vitamin Water Zero. Sugar Free Popsicles. Fat Free Greek yogurt. And of course, protein shakes. The first two days were hell. I was so crabby I felt sorry for my kids. The reason for the liquid diet is to shrink the liver as much as possible before surgery because the surgeon will be working behind it and will need to move it out of the way. If it's still large and full, it's harder to move. Also, as I learned yesterday, if they go in and take a look and see that your liver isn't small enough, they'll back out and stop the surgery. SO...this is all for a good cause and it works. I'm down 9 pounds in 4.5 days. No other diet I've ever tried has given me such results. I stopped at Target yesterday and picked up some new flavors of broth...new non-carbonated-sugar free beverages for some variety. The hardest time of day is actually dinner time when I'm serving my kids real food. It really raises my anxiety to even get food on my skin now...it's like the ultimate test of will-power. But so far, not even a lick. God help me.
Tonight, Phil and I are off to a concert and overnight away from the boys. This, too, will prove challenging. The life I'm saying goodbye to would have used this opprotunity to have a few drinks and have a nice dinner. I honestly don't know if I can sit in a restaurant and watch Phil eat right now. I do think I can enjoy a concert without alcohol. So I'm going to focus on that. And once I get to Saturday afternoon and I realize how I made it thru a sticky situation, I will feel proud. I'm allowed to feel proud. Change isn't easy and it isn't fun but it's necessary and this evening will give me a preview of life to come. I got this.
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