5 Weeks Post-Op - Buh-Bye Diet Restrictions!!

According to my 'binder', today is the day that all dietary restrictions are lifted.  I'm officially free to eat whatever is appealing.  Sounds super exciting, doesn't it?  Like a graduation date or a release date from prison??

Truth is, not much is going to change for a while.

I've been nibbling on stuff for about a week.  Not a ton and never to the point of fullness...but if it looks good enough to justify the calories, I'll try it.  An animal cracker on the boat.  A slice of pizza on Mason's birthday.  A bite of an ice cream cone.  All has gone well.

Here's the thing - I like my routine right now.  I like my protein shake in the morning, my cup of soup for lunch and my four bites of protein and three bites of 'other' for dinner.  I'm satisfied and I'm LOSING.

Do I miss carbs?  Of course I miss carbs.  However the few bites I've had of straight bread (not pizza) don't feel so good going down.  My bites still have to be incredibly juicy to feel good going down.  This applies to all foods - regardless of food group.  Soup is my friend because it almost always goes down easy.  Also, warm foods go down much easier than cold foods.  Soup is warm.  And if it's hot, it must be eaten slowly, which is even better.

Phil and I went out for sushi on Saturday night.  He ordered a couple rolls, I ordered an Ahi Poke appetizer that we shared and two types of sashimi - Yellowtail and sockeye salmon.  It was food nirvana.  It was the *PERFECT* amount of food...and it tasted AMAZING.  Ahi Poke is small bites of ahi and avacado tossed in a chili oil and soy sauce over rice.  I didn't partake in the rice but the fish was amazing and the avacado went down really easy.  The sashimi was equally delicious...and I was in food heaven by the end of the meal.  Eating out without the kids means I can enjoy every single bite.  No one is asking me for more milk, spilling anything, I'm not throwing back my meal for the sake of time.  Nope.  We sat there and enjoyed, savored every single bite.  The only thing that would have made it even better would have been a glass of wine...

Wine.  Yes.  I love it.  I miss that too.  And since I have an upcoming big event (ah-hem my 20 year high school reunion), the thought of having a glass has crossed my mind.  HOWEVER then I had a sip at church during communion on Sunday and it's no longer appealing.  You wouldn't think that the half a sip in the tiny cup would do much to a tummy but it did.  As soon as I swallowed it, I questioned my choice.  It burned all. the. way. down.  Not like a little hot sensation - like I'd just tried to swallow a piece of orange ember.  So...that extinguished any desire for a glass of wine any time soon.  Probably a good thing.

So for now, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing.  If it looks good and I can justify the calories, I'm going for it.  Like now, I'm sitting here eating some strawberries because they looked too delicious to leave at the store and I think I can spare the 100 calories.  And they taste like summer.  I'm Ok with this decision.

I Miss Advil

The rules and the 'no-no's after bariatric surgery are a little different depending on who your surgeon is/was.  Some surgeons allow you to go straight from liquid diet to soft foods.  Some have you do a bowel prep pre-op (thank GOD Dr. Drew doesn't believe in that one).  However there is one pretty standard rule throughout the bariatric surgery community : No NSAID pain relievers.  This includes Advil, Motrin, Aleve, ibuprofen, Asprin.  

The science behind this is for the benefit of the patient.  Your new pouch is much smaller in surface area.  NSAIDS are terribly hard on a standard stomach.  With less surface area for the medication to spread out over for absorbtion, it's especially hard on WLS folks.  Plus it's best if you take an NSAID with something in your stomach...but for a RNY, it's hard to swallow medication on a full stomach and expect it to stay down.  

I'm not a pill popper.  I have a fairly high pain tolerance (demonstrated by the fact that I still have entire bottle less 2 pills of Oxy-codone left over from my release from the hospital - I simply don't like how pain killers make me feel).  However, once a month I require 3 solid days of Advil.  I've had menstrual cramps since I've been menstruating but they have gotten worse with every child I've birthed.  My OB/GYN recommended taking 3 Advil every 4 hours two days before I expect my period and keep up that routine until my third day.  Well that's 5 full days on a LOT of Advil.  And it worked.  It worked well, actually.  My life and my pain were manageable.

Well, given my choice to have a RNY, I am no longer able to take Advil.  And I'm in pain.  Tylenol is an alternative but it's not the same.  It dulls the pain but it doesn't erase it.  And it dulls the pain for a couple hours, not 4-6.  And it's the kind of pain that makes you want to grab a heating pad and hide under the covers for a few days - something I cannot do because it's 90 and humid outside and my house of boys does not have any sensitivities for girl problems.  

I'm a member of Bariatric Pal - an online community of bariatric patients who share experiences and tips and advice and all-around support each other thru this journey.  I posed the question of how to deal with cramps and I got responses from Tylenol to hot water bottle to essential oils.  So not such useful advice.  And I know I'm not the only one suffering without Advil.

My PCP suggested a IUD.  Then I read on BariatricPal that IUD's can halt weight loss, cause all these wacky side effects, cause headaches, many other things I do not want in my life.  My surgeon said he's write me a prescription for a light narcotic.  Well thanks doc but I do have three kids who need me and a job...although flying for 3-4 days per month on drugs does sound appealing it's not necessarily responsible.  

So here I am.  In pain.  Missing Advil.  With an angry uterus.  Happy Friday, everyone!! 

4 weeks Post-Op

Man, it's really hard to believe it's already been a month since my surgery!!   There were so many months pre-op when I felt like surgery wasn't going to ever come...and now it's behind me by a month already.  Crazy!!

The biggest news is the scale is moving again and in the correct direction.  Man, that two-week stall really played with my mind!!  Thoughts like "did the surgery really happen??"  "Did he do it right??" "What's wrong with me??"  Even a post-op appointment with the surgeon and nutritionist, who assured me that yes, the surgery was done and yes, it's very very common to stall around 2 weeks post-op and to just keep doing what I was doing didn't quiet the demons in my head.  They can be quite loud and quite crazy at times!

Even before the scale started moving, I found a pair of denim capris in my closet that I obviously hadn't worn yet this summer and slid right into them.  Didn't even have to unfasten the fly.  Wow, did that feel good!!!  I'm sure they were hiding in my closet because they had been pulled from rotation for being less than comfortable at one point...but that's no longer the case.  Makes me wonder what else is hiding in there....

Also, soft food diet is kind of a joke.  Technically I still have a week of toe Soft Food diet but really, I've been eating whatever looks good.  Friday night, I had a small piece of pizza for dinner.  That was it.  One piece.  Eaten very very slowly and in tiny bites.  Totally amazing and totally satisfying.  Saturday evening, I had one hamburger slider, (no bun), a couple bite-sized pieces of cantaloupe and a couple creamy cucumber slices.  Perfection.  Like - not only did it all taste amazing but it was the perfect amount of food.

I did have my first "not going down" moment on Thursday night.  And the bite came back up with relatively low-drama...just a 'cough with results' as Megan told me.  The pain immediately went away.  I felt instantly better.  It's definitely not something I want to happen daily or even weekly but it did happen and I survived.

So that's that!!  How exciting, huh??  Scale's movin'...clothes are fittin'...Amy's eatin'.  Life is good!!!

-XO!

Amy

Post-Op Week 3

Made it to week 3.

Graduated from Pureed to Soft Foods.  These can include chicken or fish - the more moist, the better - so I'm still doing a lot of soup, as the meat in soup is typically very soft.  I tried some sloppy joe meat over the weekend - that went down very well.  I had some pulled pork yesterday at lunch - that didn't move all day.  Like a rock in the gut.  Today, I had a small cup of Chili Blanco with chicken and same thing - I can feel the chicken just sitting in the pouch.  So maybe I need to back off the meat and only consume it every other day or something for now.  Last night, I had some Hot and Sour Soup from Pei Wei and that was about perfect...the proteins in it (and there are a lot - tofu, egg and chicken) were very soft and the bamboo shoots and mushrooms gave it enough texture to be about perfect.  Plus the flavor is amazing.  So I'll have to remember that one.  I got a bowl so I can even have another little cup tonight if this chicken moves in time.

I had my 2-week post-op check up with the surgeon on Thursday.  Although I'm more than a little disappointed that the scale hasn't moved in more than 10 days now, neither the surgeon nor the nutritionist was concerned at all.  In fact, the nutritionist encouraged me to put the scale away for a while - like a month or more - to just let my body do it's thing.  The scale can get distracting and cause these feelings of despair that are unnecessary.  I had major surgery - the weight WILL come off.  It's guaranteed.  Obsessing over the daily number isn't helping the process.

I don't know if I can put the scale away for a month tho.  I may just decide to only weigh once a week.  That's more realistic right now for me.

The ankle is still sore.  I have a recheck on that tomorrow to see how it's healing...however with how it feels, I don't think much has changed since I chipped it 2 weeks ago...but we'll see.  I know that the scale moving is dependent on me moving and that is difficult to do in a boot.  :(

So that's where I am.  I keep on keepin' on.  Following the rules.  My new life.  Some days are more difficult than others.

Breakin' up is hard to do...

I miss food.

I miss it A LOT.

I'm a foodie.  I have been for most of my adult life.  And let's be honest, I probably wouldn't have needed gastric bypass if I was a picky eater, right?   I love looking at recipes on Pinterest, watching cooking shows, I love to cook and bake for my family - and I like to think I'm a fairly good cook.  Creating my own recipes doesn't scare me.

So how am I supposed to break up with food??

It's not like I have a drinking problem and I can just stop drinking.  It's not that easy - I have to eat to live.  To survive.

I miss the act of eating.  I miss cutting food and putting it in my mouth and having the flavors wash over my tongue.  I miss textures - salads and crusty bread, pizza with the crispy crust and the warm gooey cheese and sauce.  I miss chewing.

I make dinner for my family nearly every night.  It's an act of love that I believe is essential - they need nutritious food to go into their bodies and I really do enjoy creating dinners for them.  However in the past two weeks, this turns into a time of deep resentment for me.  Not only am I not loving creating meals that I cannot eat but I also get very upset that I then have to clean up a meal that I didn't get to eat either.  It's easily an hour or more process of me getting very upset.  Like watching your ex out on a date with someone else.  Salt in the wound.  Lemon juice in the cut.

I know this is for the greater good.  I know will get past this eventually.  Heck, I even know I WILL be able to eat again - just not ever the same way again.  Can't go back.  This is my new life.

Just the breaking up sucks.  And after a month on a liquid diet (2 weeks pre-op and 2 weeks post-op) you'd think my affection for food would dim...but not so much.  So I'm turning to prayer.

God - Most powerful and Loving - Please help me embrace my new life.  Help me say goodbye to my old ways and learn to love the new world that awaits me.  Help calm my mind when panic and fear creeps in and help strengthen my trust that You will always be guiding me - thru this and every journey I have on Earth.

Amen.  

2 Weeks Post-Op

Pretty safe to say that I feel back to normal.  Or at least what my new normal is.  My incisions are healed up - and practically invisible.  All that's left on my belly is the adhesive and my docs initials.  Try as I might, they won't scrub off.  I might to after the grey sticky with some baby oil tonight.  I continue to struggle to get in my protein per day.  A shake (30 grams) and some Isopure (25 grams) gets me there but getting all that down is harder than it sounds when I'm also supposed to have 64+ ounces of water.  I need to be sipping all. the. time.  Not that easy when you've got three kids needing you or a job or both.  

My new love?  V8 Low Sodium.  I doctor it up with siracha or a dab of BBQ sauce or some steak seasoning.  It works really well for cutting the craving for food.  Because, honestly??  I miss the ACT of eating.  I miss creating bites with a knife and chewing them and enjoying the flavors in my mouth.  I miss fruit.  A LOT.  I graduate to purees today - so thicker than liquids but not 'soft foods'.  This is kind of perplexing to me because I'm not quite sure what these are but I stocked up on some thicker soups thinking that'd be a start.  Maybe see how cottage cheese sits??  We'll see.  

The scale has stopped moving.  I was on such a great ride for a while...every morning was a nice little 2+ pound drop.  I've been stuck at the same number now for 4 days.  Not that I'm complaining...I've lost a nice chunk already...and it's not like I can go out and drown my sorrows with a pizza or anything.  My new anatomy will not allow that.  So I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing.  Water, water, water, protein, water, water, protein, water.  

The other thing I miss, as long as I'm missing things, is being able to just chug water.  When it's hot and you're thirsty and you have a nice big glass of beverage - it's so nice to be able to take several huge gulps in a row - quench that thirst straightaway.  Not an option any more for me.  And take it from me, it takes a lot of sip, sip, sips before you quench a thirst.  I guess the first thought is 'prevent that thirst from happening' but still...not always possible.  

I'm back at work today.  I think I'm ready - I enjoyed my recovery time but it's time to re-enter the real world.  I honestly think that the reason my recovery went as well as it did is because I took the time to allow my body to heal.  I was NOT ready to return to work last week.  I'm thankful that my employer and my manager allowed me this time.  

More soon,

XO - Amy